When Friendship Hurts By Isioma Martins

Have you ever been hurt by someone you considered a friend? A close friend? A best friend? Someone you believed you could trust and rely on but turned out to be the complete opposite?

My dear sister, you are not alone. A lot of us have experienced deep hurts but rarely talk about them as such experiences can make us shut down, damage our trust, and even break us down.

However, these hurts don’t go away, they don’t heal by just keeping them locked in. We need to learn to deal with them.

How then do we move past the pain and towards reconciliation? The bible shows us how we can glean wisdom from God to heal ourselves emotionally.

PRAY – When you have been hurt by a friend, reach out to God for wisdom, for grace to forgive, for grace to overlook the offense or address the offense in honesty and love, and for grace to reconcile. God promises to heal us, mend our hearts, and teach us how to love past the pain and the hurt. We must be patient in prayer for the healing to occur. (Romans 12:12)

FORGIVE – No one is perfect, and we too may have hurt a friend or two. We need to extend the same grace we receive from friends whom we have hurt and most importantly the same grace received from God, who overlooks our faults. Col 3:13, calls us to forgive others just as God forgives us.

SEEK PEACE – It takes an immense amount of grace to extend an olive branch after experiencing some hurt but making the effort to reconcile opens the door for communication and healing.

“. . . First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift [of worship].” Mt. 5:24 ESV

DON’T RETALIATE – When we have been wronged, it is very tempting to gather other friends to your side and seek revenge. However, it is better to seek counsel from someone who is on the outside, who will be impartial and not irrational.

“‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” Lev 19:18 NIV

Prayer Moment

• Heavenly Father, I thank you for loving me and for your promise to heal me from my hurts and pain.

• Whenever I experience hurt, I pray Lord that you will give me the grace to be patient while you work on my heart.

• Whenever I feel betrayed, Lord I ask that you help my thoughts not be focused on the hurt and betrayal but instead on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

• I receive wisdom and a discerning spirit to know which offenses to overlook and which ones to address.

• Lord, give me grace and strength to seek peace and to love and forgive those who hurt me.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

Think Over it
What is God saying to me today?